But What if I'm Rejected?
[00:00:00] Welcome back guys. This is Stefanie here. I'm coming to you today with my first ever mini -sode. So these mini-sodes are going to just be quick, easy, simple, food for thought with whatever's been on my mind and what I've been pondering lately. Not only for my own personal growth, but for you as well. And just as a side note, if you're not already a part of the Strength Discovered Facebook community, make sure you check the show notes. There will be a link there to join.
[00:00:36] So something that comes up often for me, when I am learning and growing and pushing my boundaries is the concept of authenticity. And the question that pops up in my mind is what if I get rejected? What if I get rejected? What if I'm me [00:01:00] authentically and someone says, "I don't fucking like her".
[00:01:07] And that's a risk with authenticity, but something that I've been pondering is that it's really only part of the puzzle. It's one little snapshot of being authentic. There's so much more to the whole concept of being you. Now, just to preface when I say authenticity, I'm not saying that you get to be an asshole and ignore how your actions could be impacting a person or a situation.
[00:01:44] It does, however mean that you are who you are and you embrace that, while allowing others space to also be authentically themselves. So I am referencing my journal a [00:02:00] little bit for this, with the reflection that I was doing with the word authenticity. And one of the things that came up for me was: if I'm authentic, then I'll be rejected.
[00:02:12] It goes along with that question of, "Well, what if I'm rejected?" And then we stay small and we stay hidden. But what I want you to think about today during this episode, and even after is what if that's really only part of the truth? What if it's missing the implied opposite that is also true?
[00:02:34] So what is that? What is the opposite of it? If I'm authentic, then I'll be accepted for who I am.
[00:02:45] And I have to remind myself of this because that fear of rejection is real. And the reason it's real is because we are human. We are not designed to live alone [00:03:00] in a solitary lifestyle. We are designed to connect. We are designed to give and get support.
[00:03:08] And so this fear of rejection I feel is natural. I'm not the only one that's ever felt that way. And you might be resonating with that as well. So under the umbrella of being authentic, there's two main options or branches, if you will, when you're authentic and people have the choice of whether to accept who you are or reject who you are.
[00:03:35] And that's all based on being the real you, when you're coming from an authentic place. So the rejection piece of it can feel painful. We don't want to feel it, but it's actually sorting out the people that you wouldn't resonate with anyway. Those people that you would have to practice so much people pleasing to even be able to be [00:04:00] in their presence.
[00:04:01] And on the flip side with acceptance, when you're authentic and then you're accepted for the real you, that feels really fucking good. And again, it's sorting out the people who resonate with you. Because the truth of the matter is that if you are not authentic, it blocks connection because no one knows who you really are. And that's lonely. It is, it's lonely to pretend to be someone else because then no one actually knows the real you.
[00:04:40] So experiment today, and this week, and this month, as long as it's necessary to dip your toe in the water of experiencing authenticity in a way that feels good, be yourself, embrace your growth. Embrace your imperfections. We are designed for [00:05:00] connection. And the only way for that to genuinely happen is if we are authentic, we are who we are unapologetically.
[00:05:09] So something that popped into my mind when I was journaling about this concept was that authenticity for me, there was two things that came up: authenticity is that antidote for people pleasing. And the second thing, it's the doorway for real genuine connection.
[00:05:31] And I want that. I want that for myself. I want that for you. We all deserve to be seen, heard and understood for who we really are and find our tribe. Find our people, find that support, find that connection that we can give and receive in balanced ways.
[00:05:52] That feels good. So if you're authentic, there's a chance you're going to be rejected, no bones [00:06:00] about that. But it also opens up the doorway to be accepted for who you really are. And to connect in a way that is powerful, meaningful, and builds relationships that are built on solid ground. You don't have to pretend to be someone else and you're holding space for the person across from you to have that same permission for them.
[00:06:27] So, I struggle with this concept because that fear can be so intense that it's easy to shrink away. It's easy to hide. It's easy just to pretend and put on the mask. And part of doing this podcast for me is being authentic. Challenging that belief, that fear of being rejected and turning towards being the real me, no matter [00:07:00] what, knowing that there's going to be a rejection piece. But also knowing that there is an acceptance piece in a way that feels so fucking good because I'm being me, because the real me is being seen.
[00:07:18] And I, I don't know who else needed to hear this today, but if it was you. Let me know, let's start up a conversation. You can check out the show notes, find me on Instagram, send me a message. And let me know how this landed for you today.
[00:07:39] With all my love, you "abso- fucking -lutely" have got this!!