Neuroplasticity Rule #3: Intention

Your intentions are important. They give you a direction, a sense of purpose, & something to keep your eye on as you move forward.

In this episode you'll learn how to set your intention AND the things that may get in the way.

You'll also learn about a theory in quantum physics call the quantum zeno effect and how you can apply that to help you move towards your intention. 

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Transcript

Neuroplasticity Rule #3: Intention

[00:00:00] Welcome back my friend, it's your girl, Stefanie here with neuro- plasticity rule number three, if you've missed the first two episodes of this journey that we're going on, feel free to go back and listen. The first two rules will set you up to be ready for this rule, just so you are very aware of that. Um, but if this is the first one you're tuning into, then stay with me.

[00:00:27] The seven rules of neuro-plasticity are based on a book called "the power of neuroplasticity" and that's by Shad Helmstetter. It's an easy read if you want to dive into this a little bit deeper, I highly recommend that book. So when we think about this rule, number three rule of intention, before we dive in to the content of this episode, I'd like you to, imagine first a scenario to help us really understand how important setting a clear intention actually is. So I want you to pretend [00:01:00] that you are the captain of a boat. If you're driving, please don't close your eyes. But if you're in a place where you can close your eyes, just close your eyes. And I want you to imagine yourself, imagine this boat that you have.

[00:01:10] And really deck it out if you want to really be there, you're at the helm of this boat and you have your coodinates, the set destination that you'd like to go to. And I want you to as we're going through this, just know that these coordinates that you have as the captain of your boat are in alignment with the intentions that you set for your life and for your goals.

[00:01:35] So you're, this captain of this boat, you have your coordinates. You're here on this beautiful place. Getting ready to launch out and an hour into the journey. You notice you're off course. And so you go back and you reference your coordinates and you make a minor adjustment. So that you're still on course and on target. Maybe a couple hours later, you hit some rough waves and it throws you off course again. [00:02:00] And so you have to reset your coordinates back towards your end destination you'd like to be going. 

[00:02:07] And if you still have your eyes closed, go ahead and open them now and just come back. And let's, let's unpack this a little bit when it comes with intention. So just like the captain of the boat needs coordinates in order to get to the destination. You, when you are creating change in your life, you need an intention or a set of coordinates to know where you are actually going. To know the direction, the sense of purpose. A clear vision or a clear goal for the direction of your journey.

[00:02:40] So the intention that you create is where you want to keep your eyes. It's where you're always going to come back to always refocus on so that you can adjust just a little, a micro adjustment to make sure you're heading towards that intention or heading towards the [00:03:00] coordinates, back to our analogy of the captain on the boat.

[00:03:04] And you're going to have to make minor adjustments along the way, and sometimes a major adjustments along the way in order to make sure that your course is set towards the intention that you've set for yourself. So with that in mind, I want you to ask yourself some questions so that you can set your intention.

[00:03:23] So the first one is, what do you want? What do you really want? What's the end goal you're looking for? What's your target? What are your coordinates? What direction do you want your life to be heading in? Is there a specific goal that you have or a specific dream that you're moving towards?

[00:03:45] Really get clear on that. And I know these questions can be really hard and that's because we tend to focus on and get entangled with things that we don't want. So, [00:04:00] if those are coming up for you, the things that you don't want, just acknowledge them, say, "Hey, I see you. I'm going to set you to the side though."

[00:04:07] So I can actually set my intention without you getting in the way. And if you've been following along and practicing the concepts that I've been sharing over the last few episodes, odds are you've probably become very aware of some thinking, some feelings, some actions, and some results in your life.

[00:04:26] You don't want any more of and you'd like to start changing. And I want you to use those things that have come into your awareness as a jumping off point. Just know that, okay, this is where I'm starting. I know this is where I'm at. And then you're going to set your intention and that's going to be the guiding light or the lighthouse. To help you adjust as you move forward. So you know where you are, use that as your jumping off point, and then you're going to set you coordinates. You're going to choose your intention. If you have a hard [00:05:00] time identifying and setting your goals or your intentions, I would encourage you to use a concept of neuroscience called "distancing".

[00:05:11] Or in other words, I've heard it also called zooming out. So this can give you a big picture view that creates distance from your self doubt so that you can dream and set your intention. So something that Ethan Cross, he's a psychologist and he wrote a book called "Chatter", and in this book um, there's little line that he puts out there about zooming out and I love it. It's so succinct and simple and it just gets to the point. He says, "Distance doesn't solve our problems, but it increases the likelihood that we can". 

[00:05:49] So zoom out, forget about the details that your self-doubt says, put it to the side and a statement that might help you do that to get in that state of being zoomed out. It could be [00:06:00] something like saying, "I acknowledge that my current reality doesn't support this dream yet, and I'm giving myself full permission to get curious and just see what unfolds". 

[00:06:13] And that statement may not work for you. You can take it and tweak it with something that does give you that sense of permission. That says, even though this is my current reality, I'm giving myself permission to dream. I'm giving myself permission to explore, to see what possibilities are out there for me. And then you want to keep asking yourself questions to help you get there. So what would you rather be experiencing in your life? 

[00:06:39] Identify that goal. And then you may even go back as far as backtracking to, okay, what kind of actions do I need to get there? What kind of emotional states will help me get there? What kind of thoughts and lines of thinking will help me get there? And really explore and unpack what this big picture [00:07:00] intention can be. 

[00:07:01] In order to get a clear picture of the outcome that you're looking for. You really want to build a blueprint of it to work from. And what this does is, you're building this blueprint, you're using your brain to focus and really get clarity. And what that is doing inside your brain is telling your brain that, "Hey, this is important. I want you to focus on this. I want you to filter my reality so I can see the action steps that I could be taking to get myself there."

[00:07:31] And as you're doing this, as you're unpacking this. And if you have some self doubt creep up, which you probably will. Just acknowledge it, capture it, get on a piece of paper so you don't lose it. Right. That's actually a really important information to have that self-doubt is pointing to the direction of things that need tweaked and changed that you can move forward.

[00:07:52] But as you're doing this process of setting your intention, I want you to be very deliberate. About what you're allowing in your mind as you're doing [00:08:00] this. So if you have that self doubt creep up, write it down, set it to the side and just acknowledge, "Okay, this is here. I'm going to save this for later."

[00:08:08] Right now I'm giving myself full permission to dream, to go all in and really unpack and see what I'm wanting. What this big intention is that's going to be my guiding coordinance for whatever you're working on right now. 

[00:08:24] And as a quick side note, just for some background information and something that I found very valuable years ago was to realize something about feelings. And this might seem a little bit off topic, but I promise you it's not, we are all looking for feelings. The goal that we have, or the dream that you have right now, there is a feeling that you're wanting. And that's why you actually want the thing. So the thing that we want so badly, we [00:09:00] have a projected future emotion linked to that thing.

[00:09:04] So if I get this, then I will feel this way. And I really want you to keep that in mind. Because if you're going after a goal or going after a feeling that you're not used to having, you want to increase your capacity or your tolerance for the emotion that you are seeking, if you don't. And when that emotion comes and wants to play with you, right, wants to be seen, heard, wants to be felt you are going to be unfamiliar with it. And you go sabotage it because it feels uncomfortable. And this happens a lot, especially with the emotion of joy, if you've ever heard. Um, I don't know. I don't even know who said it, but there was this phrase that I heard once upon a time that was along the lines of "stop pinching off your joy".

[00:09:54] And we have this natural tendency of when we feel too good and we sabotage it, then we [00:10:00] pinch it off. What feeling are you looking for with this goal and intention that you're setting? And can you increase your capacity for that feeling now, in your current reality, so that when you are making progress towards your goal, or maybe when you attain your goal, you decrease the likelihood that you will sabotage yourself because you have increased your capacity to hold more of that feeling in a way that you don't get scared of it.

[00:10:30] One other concept that is going to really help you with setting your intention and understanding how important it is a little bit complicated, but it helped I'm going to narrow it down in a way that's very understandable. It's called the Quantum Zeno Effect, Q Z E for short. So this is a concept from quantum physics.

[00:10:53] And the basic premise of the quantum Zeno effect or Q Z E, it's a mechanism that allows conscious [00:11:00]intentions to influence brain activity. And so if I were to put this in very simple terms, easily understandable, it would be boiled down to whatever you put your energy into will grow. So they found this in quantum physics at this concept of putting your energy into something, makes it expand.

[00:11:23] So Dr. Caroline Leaf, who is a communications pathologist and neuroscientist, she says this about this concept, "The overarching principle of Q Z E is that whatever you pay attention to will get energy and therefore grow in your mind and brain". So then knowing this, knowing that there is such a thing as the quantum Zeno effect, that states, wherever we put our attention grows. We want to use that to our advantage and in a healthy way, we don't want to ignore other things that are coming up.

[00:11:55] We don't want to use it in a toxic positivity form, cause that will backfire on you. [00:12:00] But you do want to use it as knowledge to know that you want to set your intention and revisit it over, and over again. So as I was preparing for this, I was asking myself this question like, okay, well, how do we actually use the QZE with our intention to take advantage of that concept that happens. 

[00:12:25] The first step is going to be creating your intention, which I talked about earlier, and we kind of have some guidelines for getting started with that. The second thing you're going to want to do is revisit that intention everyday. And I would say multiple times a day, especially if this is something new that you don't have a lot of neural networks in your brain yet that are on board with it. You really want to hammer this home with yourself that this is your intention.

[00:12:55] You want to make sure your brain knows that this is very important and it needs to start looking [00:13:00] for opportunities and different ways of seeing yourself and the pathway there so that you can actually get there. So number one, create it. Number two, revisit it. And number three is you want to be consistent, even when obstacles come up.

[00:13:18] Cause I promise you right now, obstacles are going to start fucking popping out of the wood work like you wouldn't believe, it's going to happen. Don't be surprised when it does expect it. And have a plan with what you're going to do when it does come up. And if you don't already one of my go-tos for when this does come up, when the obstacles start to show up and the limiting beliefs start to bubble to the surface, when the self-doubt says, "oh, you shouldn't be doing this. You're not good enough". Whatever your self-talk is like, use emotional freedom technique to help decrease the intensity. Of those things that are coming to the surface. And what this does for [00:14:00] you is it gives you a way to hold space for what could be holding you back in an empowering state. So you're not ignoring, you're not pretending that it's not there.

[00:14:11] You are holding space for whatever comes to the. In a way that you're able to change the meaning of it to help you move forward. Instead of having those things that come up, hold you back. I'm going to do a quick recap of that, so you really understand the three steps that you're going to want to use when it comes to setting intentions.

[00:14:33] First, you want to create it. Second, you want to revisit it every day. And third is you want to be consistent, even when obstacles start coming up. When it comes to setting an intention or setting a goal, if you will, it is really important that we put our attention on it, and that will really help us take advantage of the quantum zeno effect.

[00:14:58] Wherever we put our [00:15:00] energy will expand and will grow. And I know that some of you are going to try to go down the route of saying, "well, I'm going to go all in. I'm just going to focus on this. I won't hold space for anything else. I'm be laser dialed in on that". And I would however want you to proceed with caution when it comes to the concept of whatever you put your energy into grows, because we've all heard that before.

[00:15:25] I see this being misused a lot, especially when it comes to the experience of toxic positivity, where you won't allow space for anything else. And you ignore and you store all of the things that are getting in the way, instead of actually dealing with them. This is a healthy balance of focusing and holding space for the things that come up, wanting your attention.

[00:15:54] Limiting beliefs that come up, the emotions that surface the old perspectives that you don't [00:16:00] want to be having anymore. Those are great guidance systems to help you see what you need to let go of so that you can move forward in a more integrated and powerful way. When you set your intention, you are picking your coordinates.

[00:16:19] You are the captain on your boat, know where you want to go. And be prepared to make minor adjustments, to hold space for hiccups and roadblocks along the way, and then make those adjustments. Refocus on the intention, hold the space you need to hold for whatever surfaces, do some tapping to help clear that out and then refocus on your intention that you have set.

[00:16:46] And before I wrap this up today, I want to share with you something that I am currently working on. in my own life, because we all have goals and dreams. Right? I am building my business. I'm doing a lot of other things, but the thing I want to [00:17:00] share with you right now, it's actually has to do with my significant other, my relationship.

[00:17:06] So something that I've noticed about me and my approach, if you will, to my relationship, my marriage, I'm married, we've been married since 2003. Um, and got married quite young. Um, but something that I've noticed is I still have walls up after 20 ish, years of marriage. And I'm actively using these concepts that I'm sharing with you to help unpack that, to help set an intention of what I'd rather be experiencing.

[00:17:39] And I'm making progress. I'm not perfect. I'm still figuring things out that ability to be vulnerable and connect, um, in ways that maybe I haven't in the past with my husband and I'm happy to report that it's going very, very well. Something that had gotten in my [00:18:00] way was a limiting belief of connection equals pain.

[00:18:04] And so I've done some really deep work with that and really understanding what I'd rather be experiencing, what I'd rather have associated with connection. So using the three rules that we've already outlined so far, I want to apply that to what I am currently working on right now with increasing that intimacy in my relationship. 

[00:18:24] The first rule of mindfulness is just really becoming aware of that pattern that I have in myself. The ways that I pull back, the ways that I put walls up and getting curious about what's happening for me. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? So that I can then move to the next rule of choices. What are the choices that I'm making? Am I on autopilot? Are my past programs making my choices for me? Or am I actively making different choices?

[00:18:52] And then to intention. What do I want? What's the outcome that I want? [00:19:00] In increasing the intimacy in my marriage. And when I say intimacy, it's not just about sex. That's definitely a part of it. Let's be real, but it's about more than that. It's about really being open and authentically myself, even in my marriage.

[00:19:15] And so I've set my coordinates. I have my intention. I know where I want to be when it comes to intimacy in my marriage. And that's going to be something that is a guiding anchor. If you will, to help me get there. Something, I come back and revisit and ask myself, "okay, am I headed in this direction?" If I'm not make some minor adjustments to get myself set back to that coordinate, hopefully that wasn't an overshare, um, but I really wanted to give you something tangible. I'm working on currently in my own life so that you can apply this for something for you. 

[00:19:51] Because I want this to be a applicable. I want the studio usable information. I want it to be friendly, so that it's creating a foundation [00:20:00] for you to achieve your dreams, to achieve, achieve your goals while figuring out how to deal with the self-doubt and limiting beliefs that come up in the journey.

[00:20:09] It's inevitable. It's going to happen. I want to know how this is going for you. I want to know what you found helpful and I want to know what maybe you don't understand yet. What, what questions you have. Reach out five minute Instagram and find me at strength discovered I am here. I want to talk and want to engage.

[00:20:28] I want to see what you need more of and maybe what you want less of. I'm here to serve you in the best ways that I can. And in the ways that you really need. And remember, no matter what the current reality is in your life, you absolutely have got this.