Bring your intentions and goals into focus. Get clear about what it's going to look like. AND don't give up - you've got this!
Next month I've got something AMAZING coming your way! If you want first dibs (space will be limited) make sure you sign up for the early bird list.
Sign up for the Early Bird list here.
Fun links…
Follow Stefanie on Instagram
Get the Strength Discovered Newsletter & Freebies
Join the Strength Discovered Community
Download Your Neuroplasticity Roadmap
Follow Stefanie on Instagram and TikTok
Bring your intentions and goals into focus. Get clear about what it's going to look like. AND don't give up - you've got this!
Next month I've got something AMAZING coming your way! If you want first dibs (space will be limited) make sure you sign up for the early bird list.
Sign up for the Early Bird list here.
Fun links…
Follow Stefanie on Instagram
Get the Strength Discovered Newsletter & Freebies
Join the Strength Discovered Community
Download Your Neuroplasticity Roadmap
Follow Stefanie on Instagram and TikTok
0:00
Welcome back, my friend, it's your girl, Stefanie here. And today we're diving into rule number four, focus. And while these rules are all broken apart, right, into different sections, they work synergistically together. So keep that in mind, if you find that you're like, hey, "I think that one kind of overlaps with another rule that you've already talked about." It does.
0:23
They work together, can't really be separated, using one of them on their own is not as effective as using all of them together. So if you find some things that are connected, and that don't work without another piece, that's why. So the rule of being focused is built from the rule of intention. So if you think back to that episode, you will, if you are following along, you will have an intention that you would like to be working on. And that's great.
0:59
If you don't yet, you can still do it with me right now today, find something that you would like to shift, or change, or transform in your life and set that intention to do that. And once you have that intention, the next thing to understand is that the brain responds best to clear messages that are focused. Anything that you leave vague, or not really with any clarity involved, that means that your old programming is going to fill in that hole, to have it make sense. And that could be a great thing, you might have some programming already in your brain that can fill the gap in a very beautiful way.
1:46
But odds are, if you're like me, you have some other programming in your brain that you'd rather not be filling in those gaps that you haven't really laid out yet. And that's where the rule of focus really comes in. So you're going to start with your intention from rule number three, and then you're going to do four things for focus.
2:08
The first thing is you're going to gather awareness of what the requirements are, for this intention to actually come into your life. It might be identifying the things you may need to learn, it might be identifying the things that you need to do, it might be really dreaming about this intention and getting a clearer picture.
2:30
And then the second thing you're going to do is you're going to get all that, all that stuff, that you gathered in an observable form. You're going to want to write it down and engage your senses as you do it. And what this does is it increases the neuronal activity in your brain. And the more circuits that we can activate when we are doing this, the better it's going to be.
2:55
And then the third thing you're going to want to do is visualize it. You want to see yourself not only at the end goal, with that, living with the intention already here and present as reality. But the thing that a lot of people miss is the steps in between, you want to be really clear about how you're going to handle challenges, and how you're going to handle obstacles when they come up. And when you do this, that's part, that's in a really, really big way filling that gap that you don't want your old programming to guess at. You want to be very deliberate. It's not just the end goal, the end attention, intention. It's also all those steps in between that are going to help you getting there. And articulating how you're going to handle those things.
3:44
And then the fourth thing is you're going to share, share your intention, share what you're working on. But and this is a big, but you want to make sure that you're not sharing it with someone who won't support you. And sometimes we don't know if someone's gonna support us or not. So for me, when I get to this point of sharing, I always like to make sure that I have worked on this enough on my own, that if someone is going to poopoo it, it won't shake my belief in the possibility of it for me. So you're going to start with your intention. And then you're going to gather, you're going to get it in an observable form, you're going to visualize it, and then you're going to share only with safe people. And then you're going to use your focus to rehearse your vision. And what this does is it builds the neural pathways in your brain that are going to end up supporting the outcome.
4:44
A great example of how this works is a study they did at Harvard. I don't remember the title of this study, but they took two different groups of people and had one group of people practice the piano physically. And then the second group, they only had them practice, the movements that they were doing with the piano with their fingers, in their mind only was only imagined. So they had a group that was practicing practicing physically. And they had a group that was imagining themselves doing the practice. And at the end of the study, what they found is that there was similar physical changes in the brains of these two different groups of people. If that's confusing to you, that's okay, I'm gonna hopefully simplify it in terms that are very understandable. So what this means is that the very act of imagining something, and visualizing it in a very clear, concise way, builds that neural network in your brain.
5:51
And that's really helpful. If it's something that is very big, you have a very large intention, that you're not really sure how it's all gonna work out,when you start to visualize and imagine this whole process of the whole thing playing out. And then the end result, you are making physical changes in your brain, you're wiring your brain, with the thoughts with the feelings with the actions that are necessary for this outcome to actually come into your reality.
6:18
So I wanted to share a quote with you from one of Dr. Joe Dispenza. His books, this book is called "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself". So he says, "If you're going to influence your brain to change, before you experience a desired future event, you will create the appropriate neural circuits that will enable you to behave in alignment with your intention, before it becomes a reality in your life. Through your own repeated mental rehearsal of a better way to think act or be, you will install the neural hardware needed to physiologically prepare you for the new event." And that's the end of the quote.
6:59
There is no quick fix for the kind of change that I'm talking about on this podcast. It takes time, it takes energy, it takes commitment. But the thing I want you to remember, and the thing I have to remind myself of all the time, is that I am in this for the marathon, not the sprint, and it's easy to go to the place of wanting it to be done now, I often, actually chatting with a friend like, "okay, when is this going to end? When are we going to actually reach that point where we feel, quote, unquote, healed?" And we came to the conclusion that that's kind of the illusion, there's no quick fix, we really need to frame this in a way that helps us understand it's going to take some time, it's going to take some energy, and it's going to take some commitment.
7:53
The truth is time is gonna pass no matter what. Whether we work on this or whether we don't, time is gonna pass regardless. And knowing that, I like to remind myself of rule number two about choices. So time is going to pass regardless. So I choose to use the time that I have to purposefully direct my brain's neuroplasticity in the direction that I want to be going instead of letting it go on autopilot, and literally, living Groundhog Day, letting our past programs make our decisions for us.
8:33
When we really think about this concept of being able to visualize it and focus on our intention in a very clear mapped out way. It can feel pretty big, it can feel pretty daunting. But I want to inspire you to actually try it. Not only try it, but commit to it. And the reason is because the brain doesn't know the difference between something real and something imagined, especially when it's imagined with clarity, and purpose. And they have some good and bad news for you, depending on how you look at this entire thing.
9:13
So the good and the bad news is that it's up to you. I can't do it for you. Your significant other can't do it for you. Your therapist can't do it for you. No one can do this work for you. Can you get support along the way? Hell yes. We are designed to give and get support. It's part of the process. But I can't make the decision for you to do this work. And we can look at that in a very defeating way or in a very empowering way. So I remember the first time I heard this concept of it's up to you. No one's gonna come rescue you. You got to do it. I initially was like, Well, I kind of want someone to come rescue me. This is hard. I Don't know if we can do it on my own, and kind of that victim mentality, right trying to find the solution outside of ourselves all the time. And when I reframed this, it's up to me in a different way. It was along the lines of like, "Oh, okay, that's pretty cool, actually, because I don't have to rely on someone else's choices on someone else's thoughts or emotions, to do this work. It is up to me,I don't have to wait on anyone else, I get to start now."
10:34
And I just want to make sure I really drive this part home is that you don't have to do this alone. We work in community, we are mammals, right? We, yes, we are different than some other animals on the planet. But there are some similarities we can't get away from. We are communal creatures, we grow and change and become better through community and through giving and getting support. So keep that in mind. As we're going through all these rules. It's not realistic to do it on your own. I tried, I tried to be so self sufficient and do everything on my own. Yeah, it's not realistic.
11:19
So reach out, get the support you need. Listen to this podcast, if you're finding it helpful. Find people in your life who are on a similar journey to you and are willing to commit the time and energy it takes to direct our brains neuroplasticity. And because I myself, struggle, I'm gonna be real, open and honest and vulnerable here. I struggle with being okay with connection. I live or have lived, this is changing, I have lived my life in self protection mode. And what that means is I have blocked a lot of opportunities for friendships and community in my lifetime. Because of that I have created in my mind connection equals pain. And that's because of childhood trauma. And that is shifting and changing for me now. And it's very empowering. Especially over the last I want to say, six to eight months, I have developed a sense of community that I've never had before, a lot of people who are on similar journeys to me. And it's, it's been incredibly powerful.
12:31
And because of how much I'm deeply understanding this concept of how important it is to give and get support. Next month, February 2022, I am going to be offering something very, very special. If you've enjoyed this podcast, if you enjoy time with me, as you're doing your thing and listening to my thoughts, even sometimes they're random, then this might be for you. In the shownotes, I will have a link to sign up for an early bird list for this opportunity is going to be in a group format. So that sense of community. And we're going to go through a lot of these neural concept ideas to help us really create that lasting change. So that we can achieve our dreams and goals and the way that we want to be achieving them.
13:22
So if that's interesting to you go to the shownotes find the link and sign up for the earlybird option. It's going to be very intimate, I'm going to keep it small. So space is going to be limited. So if you're interested, you do want to be on that early bird list so that you get first dibs when it becomes available.
13:40
The last thing I would like to leave you with as food for thought as you go throughout your day, is that this does take time. And I did touch on this a little bit where time is gonna pass regardless. But I wanted to share a quote with you from Dr. Carolyn Leaf from her book, "Cleaning up your Mental Mess". And in this book, she really hammers home the idea of how much time it actually takes to create a strong neural network in our brain for something new. And I quote, "If you stop working on something at any point in the 63 day cycle, you stop feeding the thought no food means no energy, which means the thought disappears, and you're back at square one. Unfortunately, most people give up within the first week of learning are trying to change a toxic habit or to fix a trauma. And as a result, they have to start all over again, which isn't only tedious and disheartening, but also creates negative feedback loops in the brain and body. Quick Fixes and memory tricks are illusions. Don't let them fool you. Trust the science."
14:50
And that's the end of that quote. So in her book, she does talk about doing things in cycles of 21 days. And you want to have at least three of those cycles which equals 63 days. Is to really strengthen a neural network for a new habit or a new thought or a new emotional pattern, whatever it is that you're working on. What I want you to take away from that quote is, don't give up. Don't give up. Keep going. Be present with yourself as you're going through these steps. Give yourself lots of grace and understanding, as you're unlearning and relearning the things that you need to be able to achieve your dreams and goals. It does take time, it does take energy. But it's worth it. It's worth it.
15:37
Because if we don't, then we're allowing our old programs to make our decisions for us. And I don't know about you. But I don't want to relive some of those experiences that I've had that happened because my old programs were making my choices for me. So a quick recap of what we've covered so far in this entire neuroplasticity rule journey is the first one is mindfulness. The second rule of neuroplasticity is choices. The third rule is to set your intention. And the fourth rule today is focus. And what you'll find the next rule is repetition. And you don't want to miss that one. It is the most important rule. Out of all of them. They do synergistically work together, but without repetition. We're kind of fucked.
16:26
So with that, as always, I want you to remember that you have got this. Don't give up. Hang in there. I've got your back. If you have something you're stuck with and you think you would make a good podcast episode, shoot me a message. I love it when I get feedback and direction of what you really need. Talk to you soon